notjustaboutsex

CHRONICLES OF COVID

DAY 36, FEELS LIKE 1057

I heard it’s a good thing that before going to sleep at night, to think of five things one is grateful for. So now, I try and apply this dictum to the middle of the day when after waiting 20 minutes in line for a quart of milk at the local bodega and even longer for a prescription, I am ready to pull my hair out and face mask off.  Between not seeing well over the mask that is causing the kind of steam you pay for at a Russian bath and fumbling with my latex gloves as I try and push my pin code at the counter, I’m exhausted and in need of inspiration.

I always start my list with my favorite and dependable. I am grateful for Hugh Grant, Yes, still and always. No question about that.

For number two,  I’m grateful for my dog’s presence in my hunkered down, despite the fear that when this mess is all over, FEMA will have to break down my door to move out my 300 pound self and my soon-to-be 95 pound toy schnoodle.  Darling is eating like there is no tomorrow…does she know something?  Her 10:45 pm new habit is to stand in front of me, turning her little fuzzy head in the direction of the kitchen area. If I’m ignoring her because MSNBC has my full attention, she starts to whimper and prances over to her food mat and starts clanging the metal dish like a prisoner behind bars.  Annoying, but I am still grateful for her little warm body and the reminder of the beauty and power of nature.

At 7PM I am grateful that I hung my Woodstock Chimes on my fire escape so many years ago. When the church bells ring out and the neighbors start applauding, I too can join the reverie, banging my chimes in gratitude to the medical and emergency service community. Woodstock lives!

Number four is for friends near and far who think of me and reach out, some even sending a care package.  One generous heart had the good sense to send Pennsylvania chocolate peanut butter filled Easter eggs along with the special potato chip that put my hometown on the map, at least the map that all junk food aficionados keep close to their heart.  She also made me a mask that fits more like a bikini bottom. I love the cheery spring pattern mixed ever so interestingly with an abundance of string ties, giving it a slight bondage look, clearly appropriate for these times.

Finally, I’m grateful for the past. If I hadn’t lived before this moment, I would never believe that such a thing as sexy slow dancing, and meeting up with friends at a French cafe and overdosing on popcorn at a double feature at the Film Forum were possible.  I know that there is a reality beyond this moment because I lived it, remember it with fondness and believe in my well-trodden heart that it will return. Perhaps when it comes, there will be a new level of appreciation because of this moment we’re stuck in now. Go figure.